The Great Pie Debacle of 2007

The Crazy Lives of Consultants

I'm calling it the Great Pie Debacle of 2007. Let's be honest: this has absolutely nothing to do with consulting. NONETHELESS.it's s being posted. Here's the background: Back in 1996, just under a year after my grandmother died, my grandpa married grandma's best friend. He was 88, she was 85.

Best Places to Stay 2007

The Crazy Lives of Consultants

Lots of travel means lots of business, and so far, 2007 is no exception. Well well well.as if each and every one of us couldn't have single-handedly crafted this article ourselves. That said.it's s kind of nice to know if my opinion is WAY OFF as compared to everyone else. I'm a Marriott gal, personally, and occasionally can be considered a Starwood whore if The W is even tangentially involved.

You Know You're in the Right Industry When Chain Emails Compare Your Job to Prostitution

The Crazy Lives of Consultants

If you are easily offended, please do not read on. Sent by an alert consultant in Florida: ARE YOU A CONSULTANT OR A HOOKER? You work very odd hours. You are paid a lot of money to keep your client happy. You are paid well but your pimp gets most of the money.

The Crazy Lives of Consultants

The Crazy Lives of Consultants

Tuesday, December 18, 2007. December 18, 2007 at 6:39 PM. December 19, 2007 at 11:11 AM. skip to main | skip to sidebar. Posted by. Crazy Consultant. 9:41 AM. 2 comments: Consultant Ninja. Reminds me of a recent project dealing with some CSC guys.

Chinese Stocks Plunge 8.5%, Biggest Decline Since February 2007

MishTalk

Shares on the Shanghai index plunged 8.48%, the Biggest One-Day Plunge Since February 2007. 27, 2007. The crash in Chinese stocks continued today following a respite last week. The CSI300 index of the largest listed companies in Shanghai and Shenzhen fell 8.6

What are the critical characteristics a board of directors needs to succeed?

The Nonprofit Consultant

For a nonprofit board of directors to succeed, the number one key ingredient is: Involvement. Boards fail (and, in turn, organizations fail) when board members become disengaged from either the mission of the organization or their role in the governance of the organization. An engaged board does more than simply show up for scheduled meetings and vote to approve minutes and budgets.

People Who Could Really Use A Consultant.

The Crazy Lives of Consultants

Today's person: Kellie Pickler. People Who Could Really Use A Consultant

Rules about Getting into Cabs

The Crazy Lives of Consultants

Lessons learned from a cab ride home from the airport last night: 1. Always do a "lean-in sniff test" of the cab before just jumping in, to see if said cab smells like pee. If it does, once you're in and the door is shut, you're screwed.

DHS employee put on leave after wearing 'offensive' costume

The Crazy Lives of Consultants

And this is why I don't work at DHS anymore. The Secretary of DHS actually had a press conference to discuss an offensive Halloween costume. Insanity. Here's my favorite quote: "Here is the bottom line: People do dumb things," Chertoff said. Like give press conferences about Halloween costumes.

Deep Thoughts.

The Crazy Lives of Consultants

Demotivation

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You Know You're in the Right Industry When.

The Crazy Lives of Consultants

Sent by an alert Bain consultant: (this actually happened) "You know you are in the right industry when. your boss sends an e-mail apologizing for not giving you ENOUGH work". Firm Craziness

Bain 52

Erase that and you're DEAD.

The Crazy Lives of Consultants

Sent by an alert Consultant in Chicago: courtesy of The Onion. Firm Craziness

Procrastination is a Beautiful Thing.

The Crazy Lives of Consultants

Demotivation

52

The Proverbial Work-Life Balance.

The Crazy Lives of Consultants

Sent by an alert consultant in London: Firm Craziness

The Unfolding Mug Saga

The Crazy Lives of Consultants

The following email was sent out to a consulting firm’s entire listserv with a Red Exclamation Point denoting its High Priority. Not joking.)

Are YOU An Idiot?

The Crazy Lives of Consultants

I definitely am. This took me wayyy too long. THE TRICK IS TO FIND THE MAN IN THE COFFEE BEANS: It's bizarre - after you find the guy - it's so obvious. Once you find him - it's embarrassing, and you think, why didn't I see him immediately?

I'm a Rock Star.or just Insane. And this hotel doesn't have wireless.

The Crazy Lives of Consultants

I’m officially insane. Not that there was really any doubt before, but here’s a story that basically tells you what a maniac I am. Or…as I like to think of it…more how die-hard, dedicated and just generally cool this crazy consultant is. So cool, in fact, that I get to end sentences with “is.”

New Addition to the Consultantese Dictionary

The Crazy Lives of Consultants

Sent to us by an alert consultant in Washington DC: The new term is: "ORGANIC GROWTH" Does anyone know what the heck this actually means? People are apparently using it left and right. Makes me think of some sort of parasitic tumor, or maybe a weed. Consultantese

Faulty Logic

The Crazy Lives of Consultants

The following conversation took place at 2:23pm this afternoon. Setting (in the interest of providing a visual): I am sitting at my desk in cube I share with another consultant. Two computers are in front of me - my laptop and my client desktop.

People Who Could Really Use A Consultant.

The Crazy Lives of Consultants

Today's People: The Engaged Reason: For Not Thinking Before Getting Engaged. Let's hope they don't hyphenate their name(s). People Who Could Really Use A Consultant

The Saga of the Client Site Bathroom Continues.

The Crazy Lives of Consultants

Since it has been nearly a week since the cockroach-tapping bathroom incident, my confidence in using the client site bathroom has increased. I should know better. This is the same logic that we use right after we get a speeding ticket.

52

I don't think that was in the S.O.W.

The Crazy Lives of Consultants

I just cleaned out the client's refrigerator. No - I am not making this up. The damn thing really smelled. Like REALLY smelled.

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When Cockroaches Take Over the Client Site Bathroom.and Other Scary Stories

The Crazy Lives of Consultants

Given all the recent scandal surrounding the good Senator Larry Craig, bathroom etiquette has been at the top of mind lately. I mean - I'm now very much aware of what the feet in the stall next to me are doing.

No More Middle Seat Hell.

The Crazy Lives of Consultants

Check this out [link] The ultimate source for airplane seating, in-flight amenities and airline information. No more Middle Seat Hell. Good Times on the Plane

Consultants Who are Easily Offended Should Not Read On.

The Crazy Lives of Consultants

Performance Evaluation Quotes Taken from Actual Performance Evaluations: "Since my last report, this employee has reached rock bottom and has started to dig." "His His men would follow him anywhere, but only out of morbid curiosity." "I I would not allow this employee to breed."

It Starts.

The Crazy Lives of Consultants

Here's the deal: If you're a consultant, you're Type A and certifiably insane. Join the club. We like insanity, or we wouldn't be in this business. The insane are welcome here. Welcome with open arms.

Nonprofit Marketing and Fundraising Ethics

The Nonprofit Consultant

Today's blog post is in the form of a video. When should a nonprofit refuse a donation? When does an association with the wrong donor reflect poorly on your nonprofit's brand? Please watch the video (click on the big arrow on my nose to start it) and respond with your answers.

Dot-Org Pride

The Nonprofit Consultant

Nearly a decade ago, when I was working for HandsNet , we put on an annual conference with our partners, CompassPoint and CompuMentor , called something like, "Surviving as a Dot-Org in Dot-Com World."

Deep Subprime Auto Loan Delinquencies Reach 2007 Levels: The Next Big Short?

MishTalk

Subprime auto delinquencies have staked up so much that we are back at 2007 milestone levels. more…). Economics

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The Crazy Lives of Consultants: Who Here Travels?

The Crazy Lives of Consultants

Wednesday, December 19, 2007. skip to main | skip to sidebar. Who Here Travels? And just how knowledgeable are you about this TRAVEL??? Hmmmm? Check this out: [link] and then leave us your score and your firm in the comment section. This is officially a contest, people. Posted by. Crazy Consultant. 11:10 AM. Labels: Randomness. No comments: Post a Comment. Newer Post. Older Post. Subscribe to: Post Comments (Atom). Crazy Consultants. were type A (who, us?);

The Crazy Lives of Consultants: Fun with Frequent Flying

The Crazy Lives of Consultants

Thursday, December 20, 2007. skip to main | skip to sidebar. Fun with Frequent Flying.and there they were. The two well dressed business dudes, standing in the aisle. Right next to my coveted aisle seat. What did they proceed to do for an hour? Talk about work. Loudly. Woke up the baby sleeping in the row next to them (see previous post for dangers of waking sleeping babies on airplanes). They blocked the aisle so little kids couldnt use the restroom.

The Crazy Lives of Consultants: The Year's Best (Actual) Headlines

The Crazy Lives of Consultants

Friday, December 14, 2007. skip to main | skip to sidebar. The Years Best (Actual) Headlines. Crack Found on Governors Daughter [hmm!] Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says [No, really?] Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers [Now thats taking things a bit far!] Is There a Ring of Debris around Uranus? [Do Do they ever read what they write?] Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over [What a guy!] Miners Refuse to Work after Death [No-good-for-nothing lazy so-and-sos!]

Business School Admissions

The Crazy Lives of Consultants

This essay comes from an unknown writer, but apparently got the person accepted into a good MBA program. Sounds like they'd make a pretty damn good consultant, too. ESSAY IN ORDER FOR THE ADMISSIONS STAFF OF [OUR BUSINESS SCHOOL] TO GET TO KNOW YOU, THE APPLICANT, BETTER, WE ASK THAT YOU ANSWER THE FOLLOWING QUESTION: ARE THERE ANY SIGNIFICANT EXPERIENCES YOU HAVE HAD, OR ACCOMPLISHMENTS YOU HAVE REALIZED, THAT HAVE HELPED TO DEFINE YOU AS A PERSON?

Share Best Practices - Win an iPod

The Nonprofit Consultant

They're looking for the best Donor Recognition Ideas, and are asking what has worked well for your organizations in the areas of: Donor Recognition & Donor Relations Stewardship Capital Campaign Promotion The Art of Saying Thank You Donor Wall Planning & Special Events The contest closing date is December 10, 2007, and the drawing for the iPod will be on December 12, 2007.

This Really Appeared on Craig's List

The Crazy Lives of Consultants

No - I am not making this up. This entry appeared on Craig's list last week in the greater NYC Metropolitan area. The best part is the response. Honestly - if I could figure out who this guy is I'd want to recruit him. He'd make a GREAT consultant! Subject: What am I doing wrong? Okay, I'm tired of beating around the bush. I'm a beautiful (spectacularly beautiful) 25 year old girl. I'm articulate and classy. I'm not from New York, but live in the City.

People Who Could Really Use a Consultant.

The Crazy Lives of Consultants

Today's Person: Jorinda Sullivan REASON: She Lost her Job Because She Wore too Much Perfume LOST JOB 'OVER MY PERFUME' October 1, 2007 -- She wore too much Red Door, so they showed her the door. That's the claim of a Brooklyn woman who says she was fired as a customer-service rep because she wore too much perfume. Jorinda Sullivan, 24, of Canarsie is suing her former employer, Mindpearl, a customer-service center in Melville, L.I.,

An inspirational quote.

The Nonprofit Consultant

I came across this quote today that I think should be hung in every nonprofit workplace across the country. It's a great reminded of why we do what we do. You are not here merely to make a living. You are here in order to enable the world to live more amply, with greater vision, with a finer spirit of hope and achievement. You are here to enrich the world, and you impoverish yourself if you forget the errand." Woodrow Wilson.

How do you allocate overhead costs?

The Nonprofit Consultant

One of the clients I'm working with has always only had one budget for the entire organization. This is fine for small nonprofits that only really have one or maybe two programs, but this client has grown out of that stage, and has at least five or six distinct programs and program areas that should be broken out of that budget. While we were working on that, the question from staff came up of, "How do we allocate the overhead costs to each program?"

Drastic times call for drastic measures.

The Crazy Lives of Consultants

The flight from philly to phoenix on us scare, i mean air, is about 5 hours. It's so long, in fact, that you can actually take a nap, get all your client work done, do some reading for pleasure, and take another nap. I've flown this route for 2 years. When I boarded the flight, I was so exhausted on Thursday I fell asleep the second I buckled my seat belt. Many of you have done the same after a long week (read: beating) at the client.

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Yet more on percentage-based fundraising - AFP ups the ante

The Nonprofit Consultant

Just other day I posted an email exchange I had in which my correspondent argued that, contrary to what AFP (Association of Professional Fundraisers) and others may say, there are times when when contingency or percentage-based fundraising fees may actually be more ethical than flat fee or hourly rates.