Behavior Styles: Managing Others with Trust & Respect

Consider the case of Jane and John, two coworkers who once had a cordial relationship with one another:

Meet Jane. We all have a Jane in our workplace. Jane talks to think, meaning when she is processing a thought or idea, she does so out loud. It often appears as if we are witnessing her think in real-time. She is quick on her feet, excellent at motivating others, and tends to get a lot accomplished.  She’s funny, social, welcoming, and people seem to like her and tend to rally behind her.

Now, meet John. Unlike Jane, John thinks to talk. He often takes long pauses when processing his thoughts, and it can take him a while to fully form an opinion or idea. John tends to get things done right the first time. People tend to trust John to be accurate, consistent, honest, and steady. He brings high quality to his work, and because of this, others tend to bring better quality too. John brings a peaceful sense of calm to the workplace.  

John has about had it with Jane. When she is stressed or overwhelmed, she tends to talk even more and often and tends to make decisions too quickly, which sometimes results in inaccuracies. John can barely get a word in when Jane is taking up so much of the airtime, and her tendency to make errors infuriates him. “I would have never made that mistake!” he thinks to himself.

Jane thinks John is a jerk. When he is overwhelmed, he tends to shut down and clam up, instead of engaging in helpful problem-solving. Furthermore, she has confronted John about why he often looks so angry, but John just looks at her, expressionless, and says that he’s actually quite calm. Jane thinks this is bull. 

The reality of this situation is that John and Jane are both unaware of the way they are showing up and why others show up the way they do. Poor John and Jane. If only they took one of Nash Consulting’s Behavior Styles classes! 😉

Here's the deal, people. When trust and respect are high, opposite behavior styles attract. Unfortunately, when trust and respect are low (such as in the case of John and Jane), opposite behavior styles can repel. Building trust and respect in the workplace is a layered, complicated, and nuanced process, and you should be wary of anyone who tells you differently. That said, here's what we've discovered through our 20+ years of training managers and building teams: A great starting point to building a culture of trust and respect is teaching your team to recognize the differences in the way people show up and the qualities (and otherwise) each behavior style brings to the workplace. We are talking about age-old concepts in psychology and the social sciences here. There’s a reason our most frequently requested offering is our behavior styles workshop. It works.

Still not convinced? Here are three reasons this stuff really matters:

1. Leadership

People-related issues can tear at the fabric of a company and can chip away at even the most solid foundation built on the best products and services. When you consider these challenges, the closest thing to a “silver bullet” that a manager can possess is a clear understanding of their employees’ behavioral styles. Their ability to effectively manage is in part dependent on recognizing what makes their employees tick, what motivates (and de-motivates) them, what stresses them out (and how they show up when they are stressed), what kind of coaching/correction works best for them, and so much more.  Bottom line – when a manager understands an employee’s style, it becomes much easier to build a relationship based on trust and respect.

2. Personal Growth

To be an effective people manager or even an effective team member, you need to be growing as a human. People who are “stuck” – and not just for a month or a year, but who are permanently not growing or developing as a person – tend to show up as defensive, unapproachable, intractable/inflexible, and unempathetic. In our behavior Styles workshops, participants discover and choose three custom-fit growth opportunities for themselves and commit to sustaining those behaviors going forward. Fine-tuning your behaviors to better meet the needs of others and to increase your sense of well-being is one of the best routes toward personal growth and development we know of. It’s about increasing your Emotional IQ, which is a win-win for everyone.

3. Healthy Teams

It's not uncommon for people in the workplace to think they are surrounded by idiots. As a group of employees learns their own and others’ behavior styles, some pretty cool things can happen in the workplace, including an increase in tolerance and grace, improved communication, better authenticity and more honest conversations, mutual respect, and more. The Golden Rule gets adjusted a bit – instead of “treat others as we would like to be treated,” we learn to treat others the way they would like to be treated. 

People are your most important and most expensive asset. Some of them might drive you crazy, but all of them drive your business. Understanding yourself and others and then making good decisions based on this information will help managers, team members, and entire departments or organizations to move toward a permanent and positive workplace culture. 

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If you'd like to learn more about behavior styles theory, we encourage you to check out our most recent podcast episodes on behavior styles (episodes #15-20). Also, check out the table below that breaks down the four main behavior styles.

Oh, and give us a shout at contact@nashconsulting.com if you want to learn more about bringing this workshop to your team or organization.

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WHAT'S YOUR VIBE?

Behavior styles are not about how you feel. It's about how you show up to those around you. The truth is, we don't know what we don't know about how we show up and how we affect those around us. Understanding behavior styles theory is a big step on your path of growth and development, and to being a more effective manager or colleague.

Although other people see the way you show up more than you do and therefore are better judges of your behavior style, the table below should give you a helpful glimpse into the differences between styles. At the very least, it may be useful for understanding why others behave the way they do in the workplace (and in life).