It has become common advice for businesspeople to use “I statements” — such as, “I feel frustrated that you missed the budget deadline twice” — as a way to raise challenging conversations without causing colleagues to feel blamed or under attack. Indeed, I statements may be helpful during situations in which you have a close personal relationship to a colleague who cares about your well-being, or when you want to show that a particular issue has moral implications for you.
The Problem with Using “I Statements” at Work
Focus on what the business needs, not how you feel about it.
October 10, 2018
Summary.
It has become common advice for business people to use “I statements” — such as, “I feel frustrated that you missed the budget deadline twice” — as a way to raise challenging conversations without provoking defensiveness. While I statements may be helpful for maintaining personal relationships, in professional settings they can backfire. Why? First, they can make you seem weak or emotional (especially risky for women). Second, they can make it seem that you’re more interested in what’s best for yourself than in what’s best for the business. And third, they can make you seem weak. Instead, leave yourself out of the equation, and focus on making an argument about what the business needs.
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