Raymond closed down. Sandra snapped. They both had solid records and promising career prospects, and yet they felt that something was not working. Their bosses, colleagues, friends could tell too, but they were equally puzzled. How could someone so talented get so lost, or lose it, in seemingly trivial discussions, for no obvious reason?
To Overcome Your Insecurity, Recognize Where It Really Comes From
Feelings of insecurity leave us overdependent on external validation, like admiration, praise, or promotions. Even then, the feeling of achievement is generally temporary. Soon after, we turn inward, digging inside ourselves for a vein of confidence that remains elusive. Usually, insecurity is seen as a personal failing, solved by setting better boundaries or faking it until you make it. But actually, there’s plenty of evidence that insecurity is a social problem, a rational reaction to cues from our environment. It is a byproduct of a workplace culture in which individualism is rampant, relationships are instrumental, and bias goes unquestioned. Seen that way, the solution to insecurity is not to spend more time looking inward, but instead to reach outward — to forge deeper and more authentic connections with mentors, friends, and colleagues.