Samar Minallah Khan, the feminist Pakistani anthropologist and filmmaker, was enraged. Local tribal leaders were trading little girls as compensation for their male family members’ crimes.
To Change Someone’s Mind, Stop Talking and Listen
You can’t build consensus by arguing.
February 06, 2018
Summary.
The best way to sway others is not to tell them your answer, but to arrive at an answer — together. Listening is the key pathway to go from your idea to our idea. For example, Samar Minallah Khan, the feminist Pakistani anthropologist and filmmaker, listened to tribal leaders, religious experts, legal experts, and local people discuss a controversial tribal practice of resolving crimes by “giving” a daughter of the wrongdoer to the family that had been wronged. Her taping these conversations and then convening people to watch the videos led the local communities to change the practice — something that might not have happened had she simply argued with them that the practice was wrong.