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emotional intelligence for consultants

Emotional Intelligence For Consultants: How To Improve Your EQ (& Why It’s Important)

By Terri-Ann Richards
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Most of the things you and I have been taught about entrepreneurship center on…

  • the hustle,
  • the grind,
  • the mental aptitude,
  • and having tenacious grit for both your goals and your growth.

Make no mistakes: these characteristics are necessary.

However, there is a growing amount of research that your emotional intelligence matters just as much as these characteristics — if not more.

In this article, you’ll learn all about emotional intelligence for consultants: what it is, why it’s important, and practical ways to improve yours.

What Is Emotional Intelligence?

Emotional intelligence is your ability to recognize, understand, and control your own emotions. It’s also your ability to recognize and understand the emotions of others to better lead or affect change.

It’s about understanding that emotions drive behaviors, and behaviors drive outcomes (both the positive and negative ones).

As consultants, we are in the relationship business. The better we are at understanding our own emotions and the emotions of others, the better we’ll be at starting and developing relationships.

Emotional intelligence is your ability to recognize, understand, and control your own emotions. It’s also your ability to recognize and understand the emotions of others to better lead or affect change.

Why Is It Important For Success In Consulting?

If the last few years have taught us anything, it’s that change is constantly happening. The emotions that follow will also continue to flow.

It’s in our ability to identify and regulate emotions in ourselves and in others. In doing so, we can adapt to changes more effectively, with less stress.

But what sort of tangible results can developing your EQ have in your consulting business?

A report by TalentSmart showed that more than 90% of top performers have a high EQ. Another study from The Hay Group shows that salespeople with a high EQ produce twice the revenue as those with average or below-average emotional intelligence scores.

Paying attention to — and being able to perceive -— the emotions of those around you gives you, the entrepreneurial consultant, the upper hand in business.

Take marketing, for instance. As a highly emotionally intelligent business owner, you are able to keep a pulse on your customer’s emotions, their feedback, and desired outcomes. You can quickly flex and adapt, delivering both what the customer needs and what they want. This results in a stronger connection and loyalty between you and your customer.

In sales, having higher emotional intelligence helps you better regulate your emotions. And this helps you stabilize negative emotions such as fear, anxiousness, or frustration, which can be quite common on tough sales calls. That ability to maintain your composure will also aid you when the going gets tough during difficult conversations and challenging times.

You’ll also build a stronger network due to your increased social skills. For you, that means better prospecting and more clients. Improving your interpersonal soft skills enable you to persuade and influence others. You’ll offer advice that people intuitively trust.

Only about 20% of our success comes from IQ, while the rest is correlated with our EQ.

Why EQ Is More Important Than IQ

It’s not enough to just be book smart. A new entrepreneur who succeeded academically may find the world of business an uphill battle if they lack the “soft skills” connected to emotional intelligence.

Softer, more interpersonal skills such as

  • cultivating healthy relationships,
  • moving through complex challenges,
  • and handling difficult conversations with more ease,

…are an indicator of performance and success — and are connected to those with a higher EQ.

In his book and subsequent articles dubbed, “Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ” Daniel Goleman states that only about 20% of our success comes from IQ, while the rest is correlated with our EQ.

Your IQ will help you get good grades and solve complex problems. But you need more than quick thinking to control your impulses, handle life’s stress, and communicate effectively with others. Those skills require EQ.

Emotional intelligence helps you with the biggest challenges of all: improving the way you perceive and handle life’s ups and downs.

6 Ways To Develop Your Emotional Intelligence

1. Reflect

It’s critical to give space and time to yourself as emotions emerge throughout the day. Recognizing these emotions — big and small, positive or negative — AND naming them is the first step to creating a healthy self-awareness and developing your emotional intelligence.

2. External Feedback

It’s one thing to be self-aware and make assumptions about how others receive you; it’s another thing to inquire with those around you on how they are perceiving you.

Ask people around you to share with you how they feel you respond to stress, change, conflict, and how you communicate through it.

If I’m being honest, this feedback can be a tough pill to swallow. The trick here is to remain neutral, receive the information as it comes, and reflect on it when you’re on your own. This will be some of the best feedback you ever get.

3. Watch For Patterns

If you frequently lose your cool, shut down, or find yourself in conflict with others, it may be time to take note.

As you reflect on each situation, keep a journal of what was happening at that moment, who it is you were with, and what other circumstances may have occurred throughout the day that contributed to your emotions. The key here is to notice if the same negative experiences keep occurring. If you find recurring patterns, it might be time to introduce new behaviors to prevent said occurrences.

4. Be Positive

Being a positive person does not mean we ignore the negativity around us. On the contrary, choosing a positive mindset is about understanding that you are the captain of this ship. When less-than-ideal circumstances arise, you can choose to chart a different path.

Emotionally intelligent people have a growth mindset vs a fixed mindset. They understand that making a great day has more to do with their outlook than what happens to them during the day.

You can consciously choose your outlook by writing down what you are grateful for throughout the day, using positive affirmations, or engaging in meditation to assist with mindfulness.

5. Listen Better

Every single customer, partner, stakeholder, or employee you come in contact with wants to be seen, valued, and heard. They need to know you appreciate their feelings, their opinions, and their values. And the one way you can show you appreciate them is by your ability to empathetically listen to them.

Empathetic listening is not mere passive listening. It’s discerning between what they ARE saying and what they are NOT saying. It’s a form of active listening where you’re not thinking about your next response, but instead, you’re paying your full attention to the person in front of you.

Emotionally intelligent people are great listeners. And the beauty of this skill is that when you have it, you are guaranteed to have stronger, more fulfilling relationships.

6. Take An Assessment

One of the quickest ways to pulse check where you sit on the EQ scale is to take a self-assessment. These assessments highlight both your strengths and areas for improvement.

There are many EQ assessments available online. However, there are only a few that are scientifically validated — most of which you will need to locate a licensed partner to administer. A few of those are mentioned below:

  1. The Emotional Quotient Inventory 2.0 (EQ-i 2.0)
  2. Mayer-Salovey-Caruso Emotional Intelligence Test (MSCEIT™)
  3. The Schutte Self Report Emotional Intelligence Test (SSEIT)
  4. Emotional and Social Competence Inventory (ESCI)

Take one of these tests to understand your current EQ level. This is the first step to understanding yourself and areas where you can improve your emotional intelligence.

As a savvy consulting business owner with big goals, a clear plan for success, and a desire to be among some of the highest performers in your industry, invest in the growth of your emotional intelligence.

Investing in these skills is one of the best investments you’ll ever make in yourself and your consulting business.

Cheers to your emotionally intelligent success!


Terri-Ann Richards is a Consulting Success coach in the Clarity coaching program as well as a business strategist and a leadership development coach with almost two decades of experience as an entrepreneur. She lives on the East Coast of Canada, is a mom of two, grandma to one, and enjoys time outside in nature with her partner.

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