Apologizing isn't easy, but it may be critical to your personal brand.
There is an old joke that the three hardest things to say in the English language are gargantuan, Worcestershire and I am sorry.
Saying sorry is not easy, but it may be critical to your personal brand. According to a new book released in February 2022, “when a relationship becomes fractured and an apology is warranted, many people assume the ‘guilty’ person should be the one to apologize. The truth is most times there is plenty of blame to be shared by both parties.”
Delivering a successful apology is essential to rebuilding trust that’s been eroded.
That wisdom is from Simple Truths of Leadership: 52 Ways to Be a Servant Leader and Build Trust, a curated collection of essential leadership principles authored by Ken Blanchard and trust expert and thought leader Randy Conley.
“One thing Ken and I have learned over the years is how to apologize,” says Conley. “As of this writing, we have experienced more than 92 years of combined marriage with our spouses—59 for Ken and Margie, 33 for Kim and me. We’ve messed up a lot, so we’ve had plenty of practice apologizing, and we’ve found a good apology goes a long way toward restoring trust.”
Simple Truths of Leadership shares 52 easy-to-use, commonsense approaches that help leaders and organizations thrive. I found it an enjoyable read that can make a positive impact in building a personal leadership brand. The book shows readers how to make powerful servant-leader practices a part of their leadership style, build trust through servant leadership and enhance their own and their associates' lives.
Blanchard is one of the world's most influential leadership experts, and just might be the Stephen King of the nonfiction leadership world. King has 84 books, but Blanchard is a coauthor of more than 65 books, including the iconic The One Minute Manager, with combined sales of over 23 million copies in 47 languages. In 2005, he was inducted into Amazon's Hall of Fame as one of the top 25 best-selling authors of all time. (We met when I wrote about him as a reporter, and was honored when he asked if I would help edit one of this books).
Blanchard teaches what is true in personal relationships is true in business relationships. Here are tips from the book on the difficult task of saying you are sorry:
“If you messed up, admit it. An effective apology includes an acceptance of responsibility.”
“Don’t use conditional language like if or but in your apology. That makes it sound as if you’re trying to shift blame or make excuses.”
“Pick the right time to apologize. Make sure the other person is ready and willing to hear you out.”
“Acknowledge the pain you caused and let the other person share their feelings. It’s important to listen without judgment or rebuttal.”
“Commit to not repeating the behavior. An apology is only as effective as your attempt to not repeat the actions that eroded trust in the first place.”
The book is divided into two sections: servant leadership and building trust. It explores topics like developing people by catching them doing something right, creating autonomy through effective boundaries, and modeling servant leadership by owning mistakes and accepting responsibility.
“Our rapidly changing world is in desperate need of a new kind of leader—one who’s focused on serving the greater good,” says Blanchard. “When companies are run by trusted servant leaders, serving others becomes the norm. Then people are more engaged, collaboration flourishes, and the organization fires on all cylinders.”
The Ken Blanchard Companies is a global leader in management training, consulting and coaching. For more than 40 years, Blanchard has been helping organizations develop inspired leaders at all levels. Conley is the vice president of global professional services for The Ken Blanchard Companies. He is a founding member of the Alliance of Trustworthy Business Experts and was named a Top 100 Leadership Speaker by Inc.com.
