What is your ‘Oh no nanosecond?’

How do you define an “oh no nanosecond?” This is the split second after you hit the send button on an email or text that would have been a lot better off having never been sent. We have all had these moments, and we will never forget them. They are small lessons in the life of a leader.

We recently had several leaders who we have the privilege of coaching who sent an email(s) that, put it bluntly, should not have ever been sent. These emails have caused friction, escalated conflicts, and undermined teamwork in the organization. Worse, for the sender, they have hurt their ability to be a successful leader in the organization that others were motivated to follow. The following tips will help you to be an even more effective communicator and leader.

1 – Don’t communicate anything in email that you would not communicate to someone face-to-face. For whatever reason, some people, when hiding behind a computer screen, choose words they would never say to someone when meeting face-to-face. When we read emails that cause problems for leaders and employees, we always start with the same question, “When you hit the send button, what was your goal?” If your goal was to destroy relationships and cause problems for yourself, you were highly successful.

2 – Don’t overemphasize. Putting things in ALL CAPS, better yet, ALL CAPS in a large type font with bold and multiple exclamation points, makes you look like a horse’s ass who has an inability to control your emotions.

3 – Determine if email is the right format to communicate. Have you ever received a long email, filled with emotion that someone took a long-time to painstakingly write? In many of these instances, it would have been better, quicker and more effective to communicate face-to-face or by phone. The best thing a recipient can do with this type of email is to either respond, “Thanks for keeping me in the loop. We need to talk. Will 2:00 pm today work?” Or pick up the phone and convey the same message. To continue this type of conversation by email is a huge waste of everyone’s time. Unfortunately, there are some people who, in every organization, would rather send an email half-way around the work and copy the entire organization, when they could have resolved the problem by pushing their chair back and talking to the person in the cubicle next to them. Do not use your fingers when your feet and mouth would work so much better.

4 – Double check who is receiving the email. Slowing down to take this one step will save you a lot of grief.

5 – If emotion is involved when you are writing an email, save as a draft to re-read later before you hit send. You may only need an hour to pass or it might be better off waiting until tomorrow and re-reading your email. When you re-read after the heat of the emotion passes, you can more objectively ask: What is my goal in sending this email? What is the tone that comes across? By sending the email, will it make my organizational relationships weaker or stronger? Last, does this email even need to be sent?

6 – Severely restrict the number of people you copy or the reply to all button. The more people you copy, the more people you are telling that you cannot resolve your differences or conflicts through the skill of one-on-one or team communication.

7 – Re-read your email to ensure it is in a collaborative spirit. Whenever you communicate to a direct report or another team member who works for your company, you need to remember one very important fact. You are communicating with people who are all on the same team. You all get your check from the same company. When you re-read your email, is it accusatory and insinuate blame or does it communicate that we are all on the same team. If anyone ever sends you a nasty email, refer back to tip #3 in this blog. Remind them that we are all on the same team and we need to talk.

8 – Ask yourself, is this email in alignment with the mission, vision and values of my organization? This one question would save people a lot of grief and loss of credibility. More importantly, it would save a lot of time for all the recipients who do not have to read the email.

The way you communicate, whether verbally or in writing, significantly influences your reputation as a leader or team member. Remember, there are only two types of reputations. Good ones and bad ones. When you communicate, your goal is to positively influence your reputation as a leader or team member.