Seeking support is a sign of mental health – not weakness

“Bereavement is a powerful word for our reactions to the overwhelming way death attacks us in the loss of a spouse, a child or another loved one”. Kennedy & Charles

The loss of a loved one causes a broad range of reactions. In the aftermath of loss, people often find it difficult to sleep, have a decreased appetite and lowered energy. Feelings of anger, depression and loneliness are common. Sometimes nothing seems to bring joy into a person’s life with bereavement being likened to “an iceberg between the shoulder blades.” (When Death Comes – Mary Oliver). The intensity of feeling can be much worse on particular days. While it’s both confusing and disorientating, most people ‘work through’ this phase and eventually come to reconcile themselves with the loss.

Restoring Balance: Some people have difficulty in resolving grief and finding a balance in their life, adjusting to life without a loved one. For these individuals, Bereavement Counselling can help. With professional support, they are given the time and space to mourn and to imagine and plan life without the person who died. While the loss is recognised, clients are aided in bringing their grief to an effective resolution, moving into the next chapter. Paradoxically, some people feel that ‘moving on’ is somehow disrespectful. They become stuck and almost punish themselves with a continual sense of regret for what might have been. Others endlessly rehearse the last interaction (which may have been negative) and berate themselves for a single moment in what was often a lifetime of interactions.

Best Timing: “When should Bereavement Counselling happen?” is a common question. Most Counsellors suggest leaving space for the natural grieving process to take place and typically don’t see clients until six months has elapsed following a bereavement. The timeframe isn’t set in stone. Some individuals are so traumatised by the death of a loved one, that an earlier intervention is required. The sudden death of a child or a life partner can lead people to quickly seek help and General Practitioners often recommend that a patient talks to a counseling professional if they sense that additional support is needed. Sometimes, a family member sets the train in motion or the person themself feels they need to do something and seeks support.

Does it Work? Even when the death of a loved one is expected, there can be a sense of unreality, that the person is no longer there. As the client begins to talk and explore the loss, that sense of unreality becomes real and easier to cope with. Without meaning to, family members who may themselves be struggling with the loss, can block the expression of grief with comments like: “Why are you torturing yourself by going over this again and again?” which can stall or even prolong the grieving process. Bereavement Counselling allows the client to express their pain and sense of loss. The goal is to move at their pace, eventually reaching a place where they find an ability to live with the loss and begin to move forward.

Bereavement impacts each of us. Don’t be afraid to look for support when you need it. Understanding when you need help is a sign of mental strength, not weakness.

Paul

PS Lighter Note: Subject: Tesco Car Park Scam. Now, you’d need a smile after that topic. And, who better than Kevin Griffin to supply this tonic…

Please BE WARNED! Over the last month I have become a victim of a clever ‘Eastern European’ scam whilst out shopping. Simply dropping into a Tesco supermarket for a bit of shopping turned out to be quite an experience. Don’t be naive enough to think it couldn’t happen to you or your friends! Here’s how the scam works:

Two very good-looking 20-23 year-old girls of eastern European origin come over to your car as  you are packing your shopping into the boot. They both start cleaning your windscreen. When you thank them and offer them a tip, they’ll say ‘No’ and instead they ask you for a lift to another supermarket, in my case, Lidl. You agree and they both get in the back seat.

On the way there, they start undressing, until both are completely naked. When you pull over to remonstrate, one of them climbs into the front seat and  starts crawling into your lap and kissing you while the other one steals your wallet!

I had my wallet stolen on October 4th, 9th, 10^th and the 15th. Also November 1st, 4th, 6th, 9th and 10th and twice yesterday. So please warn all the older men you know to be on the lookout for this scam.

The best times seem to be just before lunch and about 4:30 in the afternoon.

Happy Shopping!

P.S. Aldi have cheap wallets on sale for €1.99 each but Lidl wallets are €1.75 and look better!

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