Don’t Talk to Strangers – Not!2 min read
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Yesterday I went to see Dune Part 2. Fantastic movie and better than Part 1.
As I was leaving the auditorium, I made a comment to a man who was walking out with me.
I said something rather innocuous, “Wow, that was some movie!”
And he responded positively. “Yeah, I agree, it was great. This is the third time I’ve seen it!”
“No kidding? “I replied. “You must be a huge Dune fan!” And we got into a fun conversation about Dune, Star Trek, and more.
I love speaking to people I don’t know. Usually, it’s just an exchange of pleasantries, but with this conversation, we had a great exchange about something we are both passionate about – science fiction movies.
One of the key principles I always advocated for my clients is the value of initiating conversations with unfamiliar people.
But almost everyone hesitates and doesn’t know how to go about it. “I wouldn’t know what to say,” is one of the most common comments.
Last week, I spoke to a past client about this and encouraged him to speak to more people in this field.
He said, “Well, I’m kind of introverted, and I don’t like to boast about myself.”
“I agree, that doesn’t really work. But I’m not suggesting that. What I suggest is finding something interesting about someone you’d like to connect with and finding a way to introduce yourself by talking about that.”
“Well, what might that look like?” he replied.
“Let’s say you learned that this person you want to connect with has a collection of rare jazz albums. And since you’re also a jazz fan, use that knowledge to make a connection.
“You could call him or email him and say, ‘Our mutual friend, Peter, told me you were a big jazz collector. I’ve been collecting jazz for 50 years, and I’d love to know a little about the kind of jazz you collect.’
“Now, a person you want to connect with might have any number of interests. Do a little research and see what they are. It could be anything.
“The important thing to remember is that relationships are based on mutual interests. Discover those interests, and you can make connections much more easily.”
Sadly, we are mostly focused on ourselves… our interests, our situation, our business. And so, when we try to get others interested in us, it doesn’t work out very well.
Dale Carnegie said it best in his famous 1936 book, “How to Win Friends and Influence People.”
“You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you.”
Who do you want to become interested in?
Cheers, Robert
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