Attempting to get her new business off the ground, Anna worked in public services by day and as a startup founder during every other minute she could spare. She was feeling isolated by the extreme schedule and neglectful of her friends and family — typical of startup life — when she learned of her sister’s suicide. It would be the Twitter message, accidentally ignored for a month, that would send Anna reeling. The note asked that they get together. “I miss you,” it read. Anna finally saw it just days after her sister’s death.
Summary.
Grief doesn’t just come with sadness and loss. Grief can also come fully loaded with guilt, anger, uncertainty, denial, regret, and so much more. Yet many companies lack norms or policies for dealing with grief — or “bereavement,” in HR-speak. As a result, managers and colleagues often unintentionally make a bad situation worse. The most effective and humane approach is a mix of sensitive policies — such as offering paid leave for mourners — and training for colleagues and managers. Training and policy should be organized around five principles: first, grief isn’t linear. Some days are easier than others and emotional triggers can strike at the most unexpected times. Second, understanding grief is part of emotional intelligence, a vital managerial tool. Third, don’t treat death like “the elephant in the room.” It’s better to talk about it, albeit clumsily, than not at all. Fourth, create checkpoints; anniversaries and milestones can be especially hard. Finally, have policies, but don’t only have policies. Leave room for colleagues to express their emotions authentically.