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How To Overcome Public Speaking Anxiety

This article is more than 5 years old.

Forgive me for repeating an old Jerry Seinfeld joke, but I tell it to make a point.

“According to most studies, people's number one fear is public speaking,” said Seinfeld. “Number two is death. Death is number two. Does that sound right? This means to the average person, if you go to a funeral, you're better off in the casket than doing the eulogy.”

To attract high-paying clients, the number one strategy is public speaking. Therefore, it pays to find ways to overcome the natural fear of public speaking.

The problem with public speaking is it triggers the amygdala in your brain. This is the almond shaped fear switch that triggers our fight, flight or freeze response. Not everyone fights through the fear of public speaking, but you need to if you want to attract clients by sharing your ideas. Fleeing from speaking opportunities or freezing before an audience are not good strategies.

Leisa Thompson

At the January Jumpstart 2019 conference sponsored by the Dental Speakers Institute in Phoenix, I caught up with one of the keynote speakers, presentation expert Eleni Kelakos.

She uses performance techniques learned over 20 years as a professional actress in New York and Los Angeles to help executives be relaxed, real and relatable when they give presentations.

Her book, Touch the Sky: Find Your Voice, Speak Your Truth, Make Your Mark, was a gold medal winner of the 2014 Global e-Book Awards. I asked Kelakos to share her best presentation tips to overcome the public speaking jitters.

Here is how she advises speakers to get prepared:

Commit to the Process: “People want an immediate solution to manage their public speaking anxiety,” says Kelakos. “The fact is, there isn’t one. Managing fear of public speaking is a process that takes time and work. To overcome your fear of public speaking, you must be willing to commit to the process.”

Determine the Lies That Bind: “The first step in overcoming fear of public speaking is to face your fear head-on,” advises Kelakos. “Make a list of The Lies that Bind you—the limiting beliefs that kick you into anxiety, such as ‘You’re a lousy public speaker!’ or ‘Everyone can tell you’re nervous!’ Since beliefs cause behaviors, limiting beliefs need to be changed in order to create new behaviors.”

Reshape the Lies That Bind you into Useful Supportive Power Phrases: “For example, ‘No one takes you seriously’ might turn into ‘Because I value my expertise, I take myself seriously and others do, too,’” says Kelakos.

Convince Yourself of the Power Phrases by Supporting them with Evidence. “Once you’ve created a list of lies that bind, convince yourself of their truth by jotting down three pieces of evidence,” says Kelakos. “For example, ‘I have over 15 years of expertise. Yesterday my boss asked me to weigh in on an important issue. My team members tend to respond favorably to my ideas.’”

Use the Power Phrases to Shift your Mindset. “To help grow weeds on the Lies That Bind and allow the new Power Phrases to embed themselves into your subconscious mind, repeat them,” says Kelakos. “Repetition makes habit. Speak them out loud, print them out and read them daily, or record and listen to them before you fall asleep and upon awakening.”

Of course there are many other ways to improve. My advice is to find a good presentation coach and work to improve your speaking expertise. The more you prepare the more relaxed you appear.

According to Kelakos, “Power Phrases are only part of the overall preparation toolkit you need to build to help you manage the fight of flight that can broadside your public speaking performance.”