I’m Starting a New Religion – Want to Join?2 min read
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Disclaimer: This article is my lame attempt at humor. This is something I came up with a couple of weeks ago that I couldn’t let go of. If this offends your religious beliefs, then this is definitely not the religion for you. Please forgive me.
Announcing a new religion: Humorology
Purpose: To infuse a sense of humor into everyday life (including work and business).
Core Belief: Life is wonderful, funny, and absurd. Try to find the humor in everything. Except for vermin. No, scratch that, even vermin are funny. Especially those office vermin.
Followers: Anyone who needs some levity, laughter, whimsy, mirth, or tomfoolery in their life. I.e., Everyone.
Mission: To increase the Gross National Happiness. The grosser the better.
Prayer: Please God, let me laugh. Now, please.
Commandment: Do that which makes the world happier or shut up.
Evangelism: Don’t preach, laugh. Especially at yourself.
Gatherings: Congregants sit in a large circle and either tell or read jokes or other writings designed to provoke laughter.
Meditation: On the Seven Sacred Giggles.
Holiest of Days: January 1 when you set your unobtainable New Year’s Resolutions. Hilarious!
Meaning of Life:
Saints: George Carlin is currently our only named saint. Others will be named in due course. Applications now being accepted. You can submit them in the comments section below.
Path to Salvation: Laughing deeply and frequently. Avoid this at your mortal peril.
Social Justice Ministry: Laugh with the afflicted. Laugh at the afflicters.
Sacred Text: Me Talk Pretty One Day – David Sedaris. If Sedaris doesn’t make you laugh, you are brain dead.
Sacred Movie: My Cousin Vinny. “I hope you like my suit, judge.”
Sacred TV Show: You have to ask? Big Bang Theory.
Sacred Publication: The Onion.
Excommunication: Failure to adhere to the beliefs and practices of Humorology condemns you to the eternal realm of scrooginess.
Representative of Evil: Mr. Humorless, you know, that guy.
Prohibitions: Complaints of any kind. Even complaints about complaining.
Punishment for indulging in prohibition: You are your own punishment.
What happens after death: You finally get the cosmic joke.
Cheers, Robert
Please note that the ideas stated in this article are those solely of the author, Robert Middleton, and do not necessarily represent the marketing practices or beliefs of Action Plan Marketing (but they probably do).
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This Post Has 5 Comments
I’m in! I’m happy to be a new convert!
This is a hysterical Idea! I love it!!
Great retile!
For Sainthood – Jon and Gary Buchan, who probably gave you the idea in the first place!
George Carlin? Saint? No way! Definitely my favorite philosopher, but no saint!
Watched My Cousin Vinny again the other day. That and Wedding Crashers.
I’m “non theist”, but definitely count me as a true convert to you religion.
Made my day! Thanks Robert. Will we have any confessional box to admit our humor sins :))?
For me, the sacred movie is either Airplane from the 1980s Or a more recent movie that is probably the funniest movie I’ve seen in many years Game Night with Jason Bateman.
Oh, one other secret movie on my list – – “21 Jump Street” — Jonah Hill, Tatum Channing