Sometimes even well-intended managers act in ways that they’re ashamed of. Take Jan, for example. Jan is known for his slightly off-key and mildly insulting humor — it’s even been noted as one of his strengths. He gets the laughs. But he’s told me that he cringes every time he makes a joke at someone else’s expense. He despises the fact that his behavior directly contradicts his personal values. And yet he continues. Then there’s Marty, who is lauded for her ability to pick the “right” person for a job. Deep in her heart, though, Marty is ashamed of herself. She knows that she’s more often than not chosen the “acceptable” person over the right person. And in her organization that means that, at a certain level, it’s a man and he’s white.
Keep Your Company’s Toxic Culture from Infecting Your Team
Sometimes even well-intended managers act in ways that they’re ashamed of. Why on earth would people violate their own values like this? It often has less to do with a person’s individual flaws and more to do with the culture that these leaders operate in. If you work in an organization with a toxic culture — where hyper-competitiveness, overwork, and inauthenticity are the norm — you’re more likely to feel pressure to compromise your values and blame the dysfunctional company culture for your misbehavior. But you don’t have to necessarily just cope with this toxicity (or look for another job); there are changes you can make on your immediate team. Start by building up your own resilience. Then reach out to people in your circle to repair any relationships that may have been damaged. Together form a coalition where you can articulate shared values and commit to acting according to them. By using your emotional intelligence skills and choosing to act in ways that you can be proud of, you can begin to reform the toxicity that characterizes your organization — or at least not be dragged down by it.